Weird L.A. entertainer Crimebo the Clown expands his community services with blind dates, hen parties and Xmas events
WHAT: Crimebo the Clown launches internet dating chaperone, bachelorette party mascot and anti-Santa Claus services
COST: $150 flat rate for a one hour appearance, $50 for each additional hour, $300 plus tips for 5-hour bookings. Mileage fee included if destination is more than 15 miles from 90027 ZIP code.
WHERE: Crimebo is available for bookings throughout metro Los Angeles.
Of all the peculiar performers who call L.A. home, there's really no one quite like Crimebo the Crime Clown. Thank Beelzebub for small favors!
Created as an occasional sidekick on Esotouric's creepy true crime bus tours (Pasadena Confidential, Halloween Horrors), Crimebo (aka actor and voiceover artist Michael Perrick) soon took on a life of his own and began booking appearances at birthday parties, where he'd share from his Big Book of Horrible Crimes with a grisly list of all the nastiest things that happened on the birthday boy or girl's special day through history. But annual birthday appearances weren't enough for Crimebo's rabid fans, who pepper him with increasingly bizarre demands. To satisfy his twisted public's need for more Crimebo -- and Crimebo's need for more folding green stuff -- here are several new community services direct from Crimebo to you, described in the evil Clown's own words.
CRIMEBO'S BACHELORETTE PARTY TAG-A-LONG
Crimebo says: "Hey Ladies, looking for that special touch to make your last night as a single gal truly unique? This very affectionate clown will show you a wild night of pony rides, crime skits (where the bride-to-be can be the torso), and adult balloon blowing. I'll also follow you around as you visit strip clubs and get sloshed, fend off mashers, and keep you and your girlfriends out of trouble. And maybe in a few months, you can call me again and I'll be doing baby showers!"
CRIMEBO'S INTERNET DATING CHAPERONE SERVICE
Crimebo says: "Did you just make a date with a stranger from the internet and don't know how to break the ice? Let me do it! My crime clown chaperone service will make that sorta scary first meeting a memorable experience in gut-wrenching laughter. Let me rate your date with Clown Fear Factor: Are they scared of balloons? Are they bothered by non-utensil dining? Are they fit enough to run away? This creepy clown with a heart of gold will be standing to look after your sad drunk butt if the date goes bust, or to take photos to commemorate the night if things go well. And remember: I am very,very discrete."
CRIMEBO'S CHRISTMAS PARTY MAGIC
Crimebo says: "Are you tired of the same old 'ho ho ho' from guys in stuffed red suits? This Christmas, forget about Santa and invite me to come down your chimney (or in your sliding glass patio door when nobody's looking). I guarantee that I'll steal your holiday hearts with my soulful caroling and rude Yule tidings. All the little boys and girls can take turns sitting on my lap begging for holiday gifts, and then I'll give them a lesson in recession economics when I explain why they're not getting any of it. And the fun continues as I drink up all the eggnog. For an unforgettable holiday celebration, and the strangest photo ops your living room has ever seen, you want my Christmas Crime Clown service, exclusively available during the holiday season."
The 2009 edition of the classic oddball local guidebook "L.A. Bizarro" raves" Crimebo the Clown is like the adoptive love-child of James Ellroy and Emmett Kelly... Though some may believe that Crimebo's schtick is strictly for grown-ups, we would book this clown for a kid's party in a heartbeat. Nothing will put mollycoddled children in line quicker than seeing photos of Bukowski's nose and learning the grim fate of the Black Dahlia from a wiseguy in greasepaint."
For your very own life-changing Crimebo the Clown experience, just call him up with a date, time and information about your event, and he'll do something to make your special day unforgettable. That can be a good thing or a bad thing, but we promise, it won't be like any other party entertainer you've ever seen before.
For a sneak peak at Crimebo in his element, hop on Esotouric's Pasadena Confidential Crime Bus Tour, operating every few months and next scheduled on Saturday, December 5. In addition to a fascinating tour of some of Pasadena's most peculiar and notorious crime scenes, you'll participate in a special Pasadena-themed production by the interactive performance troupe The Crimebo Players, then follow the clown out onto Suicide Bridge for stunning views down into the gorge that claimed dozens of lives.
For more info on Crimebo the Clown, visit http://www.crimebo.com
For more on Esotouric and the Pasadena Confidential tour, visit http://www.esotouric.com